Bigdavem
01-23-2006, 09:57 AM
Some of you may have heard this one, but its still funny.
I was out at the track the other day, lost the first 5 races. The closest thing I had to a winner was a horse in the 3rd that finished 2nd in the 4th. I was getting desperate for a win, so I went down to the paddock hopeing to see something that might give me a winner. Anyway when I get down there I see this priest by the 3 horse, he's making all these funny signs with his hands and even sprinkling water on the 3, so I thought, hey, maybe I am on to something so I decided to bet the #3. However before I did I thought I'd just take a look at the 3 in the form. In his last 5 races the 3 had only beaten 2 horses and now he was up in class. I wanted a winner but I wasn't that dumb so I said the heck with it and went with my original pick. Anyway to make a long story short my horse lost but the 3 went wire to wire and paid $104.00
Next race I decided I'd see if the priest was down in the paddock doing his thing again and sure enough he was, this time by the 7 horse, so I had made up my mind to load up on the 7 but on my way to the window a buddy of mine gave me a "sure thing," a rock solid lock he said - so anyway you probably figured out what happened, the sure thing is still running and the 7 won paying an obscene amount of money.
That was that, I went down to the paddock the next race and found the priest by the 11 horse. I didn't care if another horse called me over and told me to bet on him, I was going to bet on the 11 and I wasn't even going to glance at the form. I took all the money I had left, even my lucky two dollar bill and bet it all on the 11. When the race went off the 11 broke last, at the turn for home he was so far back he looked like he was trying to get a head start for the next race, and of course he lost big time.
So now I go down to the paddock and there was the priest just standing there, so I ask him; How come you do all this stuff by all these horses and they all win easily, then you do it by the 11 - I bet everything I had on him and he loses, whats up with this? The priest looks at me and ask; Your not Catholic are you? I told him no but what the hell did that have to do with anything, he said well if you were Catholic, you'd know the difference between a blessing and last rites.
I was out at the track the other day, lost the first 5 races. The closest thing I had to a winner was a horse in the 3rd that finished 2nd in the 4th. I was getting desperate for a win, so I went down to the paddock hopeing to see something that might give me a winner. Anyway when I get down there I see this priest by the 3 horse, he's making all these funny signs with his hands and even sprinkling water on the 3, so I thought, hey, maybe I am on to something so I decided to bet the #3. However before I did I thought I'd just take a look at the 3 in the form. In his last 5 races the 3 had only beaten 2 horses and now he was up in class. I wanted a winner but I wasn't that dumb so I said the heck with it and went with my original pick. Anyway to make a long story short my horse lost but the 3 went wire to wire and paid $104.00
Next race I decided I'd see if the priest was down in the paddock doing his thing again and sure enough he was, this time by the 7 horse, so I had made up my mind to load up on the 7 but on my way to the window a buddy of mine gave me a "sure thing," a rock solid lock he said - so anyway you probably figured out what happened, the sure thing is still running and the 7 won paying an obscene amount of money.
That was that, I went down to the paddock the next race and found the priest by the 11 horse. I didn't care if another horse called me over and told me to bet on him, I was going to bet on the 11 and I wasn't even going to glance at the form. I took all the money I had left, even my lucky two dollar bill and bet it all on the 11. When the race went off the 11 broke last, at the turn for home he was so far back he looked like he was trying to get a head start for the next race, and of course he lost big time.
So now I go down to the paddock and there was the priest just standing there, so I ask him; How come you do all this stuff by all these horses and they all win easily, then you do it by the 11 - I bet everything I had on him and he loses, whats up with this? The priest looks at me and ask; Your not Catholic are you? I told him no but what the hell did that have to do with anything, he said well if you were Catholic, you'd know the difference between a blessing and last rites.